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We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

Manly Grip

by Ultimate Bastard

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1.
Hatestick 00:51
lyrics
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Gonna phone you in the morning Just to tell you you’re a wanker Gonna send you constant letterbombs and faeces in the post Bumfluff sideburns Arsehole mouth-piece Scrotal expert Rectum farmer Dickhead Tractor engine through yer window Shove a pencil down yer bell end Tell your family your a pedo Grass you in to social services Shat the armchair Pished the bed Fuck you Lump You're fuckin dead
2.
Riggwelter 00:37
lyrics
Soldered anus, gastric bypass Unexploded whale corpse, useless cunt Stick him in a trolley and we'll shove him on the motorway I'll grab his arms and legs and you can smack him in the coupon with a brick Feed them farts and flies and windowlene Feed them til their guts collapse, yaldy Geez yer wallet, geez yer watch ya prick I'll show you my balls and you'll be sick
3.
Renegade Boutique 00:30
lyrics
Hooves of steel Haywire bison Heads kicked off in sudden tantrum District wrecked and transport system fucked Brick monsoon Upturned bistro Shit typhoon Wanton dung attack Geez yer address Geez yer address
4.
Lumpen Proletarian Malcontent 00:29
lyrics
A storm of golf clubs in the middle of lunch Say merry christmas to my boot Your head exploded in my hands, I had to stifle a laugh I went to town and used your credit cards to buy all sorts of expensive gear So easy So easy
5.
Force Your Dinner Down 01:14
lyrics
Say your meat is cut too thin You're doing my fuckin box in Don't like the gravy Don't like the chips Maybe you'd prefer a swift boot in the tits Force your dinner down You're not hungry, I don't care Instant noodles, pubic hair Oily discharge, rancid pork Ram your dinner down your throat Force your dinner down You refused to clear your plate You persistently complained Drove me mental, made me snap Now your wearing your dinner for a fucking hat
6.
Circus of Arse Pt. 1: Stressful Movements 00:10
lyrics
***Instru-rectal cacophony***
7.
This is Pish 01:03
lyrics
She's left a note Fucked off with a Nigerian Valium-stunned bitch drove the motor into a ditch Flushed my phone down the bog Kitchen's fuckin hummin because of the turd she left in the oven Might as well OD Might as well take some of these That's guff That's crap That's pish That's shite I'm killing myself tonight I woke up in a phonebox Stinking of diesel fumes and Rothmans Trying to get my shoes down from a tree Trousers nowhere to be seen Police asked me where I'd been Wrapped in a mattress down the station Beaten with knightsticks and charged with molestation
8.
Perpetual Monthly Installments 00:33
lyrics
I sweat profusely My briefcase set to blow Legal rampage Raging migraine Panic on the subway Resplendent in loafers and brown Farah slacks Sending you genital pictures by fax Comical prospects and bollocks for brains Personal documents left on a train Dialling wrong numbers and huffing the gas Redundancy packages shoved up your arse Shave off a nipple and wreck the place Some fucker's stolen my parking space
9.
Burger 00:23
lyrics
450 million vegetarians lightly seasoned and ground up into a paste Scotch egg in your eye Gammon steak up yer beak BURGER!
10.
Manly Grip 00:18
lyrics
Devastating handshake Introductory fist Knuckles smashed and splintered Self-esteem in bits You wish you'd never met me and my flawless manly grip Jesus Christ
11.
Circus of Arse Pt. 2: Apologies for the Confusion 00:19
lyrics
***Telephone carnage***
12.
Duff Ecky: Redux 00:53
lyrics
***Narcotypal instrabreakdown***
13.
Earliest Convenience 01:23
lyrics
***Kebab house freakout***

about

Arse-core classic from Paisley's most dangerous duo.

A persistent assault of riffs, blast-beats, samples, flatulence, prank calls and hysterical rambling.

credits

released January 21, 2013

Ultimate Bastard are...

ANDY PUBES: Guitar & Vox
DOOGZY: Bass, Vox & Programming

Recorded at Stoned Goat between July 2011 and February 2012. Thanks to Meat Ears, Doogzy's da, Ident, Chav Stabber, Mark Prindle & Longmont Potion Castle. Mixed and mastered by Arno Zepp at SGR. All songs written and performed by Ultimate Bastard 2011-2012. Artwork pilfered, ripped off and photoshopped by Arno Zepp.

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about

Ego Def Productions image

Ego Def Productions Glasgow, UK

Some guy in Glasgow. I like to make tunes and draw stuff.

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